The Toughest Opponent: The Everyday Routine
Staying self-motivated —no matter what is happening around you— is never easy. If it were not for boxing and the mentorship I received, where would I have landed? I come from a family crippled and torn apart by drugs, sexual violence, trauma and prison. I never suffered consequences that were too grave for my mistakes. I was lucky because things could have gone differently when I erupted and turned my anger the wrong way. I live by this slogan I coined one day in the gym, as my body moved through the monotony even though my mind was far away:
To Enter a Broken Man
To Walk out a Champion!
My mentality is: No matter how tired I am, I have to get in there. Like a machine, I go through my routine. This is bound to make the daily burdens a bit lighter. It is like any work; you don’t think about it. You just do it.
We all deal with disappointment, depression and the doldrums of the everyday survival routine differently. For many people in my family, they tried to avoid reality by smoking marijuana or drinking alcohol. Boxing was my pain pill.
There were times boxing weighed on me too. It’s repetitive. It’s the same small scene in the gym. Many boxers are one-dimensional. My jaw was sore from getting hit. It hurt to chew so I had to blend my food. The sun was out and I would not want to go to the dank, dingy, windowless dungeon.
When some big fights didn’t go my way, I felt my wanderlust kick in. I wanted to leave the contained boxing world behind to explore the infinite majesty of the world. After losing a Golden Gloves Finals fight by decision, I bought a ticket to Brazil with no return date.
The Death Trap
I bought a 2007 Dodge Intrepid but within a month it was stolen off of Burnside Ave. I was forced to buy an old hooptie for $800. I got a 1997 black Geo-tracker jeep. I drove it for months with no insurance. Some of the crew nicknamed it “the death trap” because if I hit a pothole, it jumped from one lane to another and then back into the original lane.
I asked one of the fighters, Muggaboy if I could leave “the death trap” with him because I was leaving the country to train in Guyana. Muggaboy and I trained together for years. Muggaboy was the coolest, friendliest, most down to earth person in the world. Always smiling and always inspiring, Muggaboy did not have a mean bone in his body. One night, after a gym session, we crossed the Triboro Bridge to go for a run on Far Rockaway beach and then to a Brazilian buffet. Living no more than five miles from the beach, he told me he has never walked on sand before. He kept his socks on at the beach as we jogged through the sand and shallow water. Muggaboy was born hustling. Peddling narcotics and boxing was all he knew. His mother was mentally ill and never received any help. He learned to fend for himself. Feeling the momentum of the borough-to-borough tour we had embarked upon, I took him to East New York and Brownsville. He had never been to Brooklyn.
I left for Guyana a few days later. I told Muggaboy not to use the car to hustle. The days before I left Rio de Janeiro to come back to the U.S., I called him to make sure he could pick me up at JFK airport. He didn’t pick up my calls. When I land in the U.S., I saw he had left me a message on Facebook. He was locked up. He told me to reach out to Original G Boss or Gunz Smack to get the keys for “the death trap.” I was cracking up wondering about the fate of my old jalopy in the hands of two gentlemen with names like Original G Boss and Gunz Smack.
I stared at the phone whimsically. I wondered who I should dial first. I elected the latter. Hello “Ah Gunz, I mean Smack ah, I’m Muggaboy’s friend. I box with him. He was using my car…” I ascended to the 18th floor of Patterson projects and met Gunz Smack to retrieve my keys. I ask Gunz when Muggaboy would be off of Riker’s Island. He said it was not looking good. Another young man abducted from a society that never believed in him to begin with. Part of me wanted to go right back to Guyana and escape the ghetto trap.
Black Nationalism
How did race dynamics play out in the fight game? I was often the only “white” fighter in the gym. Since I spoke Spanish fluently and was trained by Cubans and Puerto Ricans, many boxers called me “Cuba,” assuming I was Latino. A trainer named 360 (for 360 Degrees) argued with the other trainers that I was Puerto Rican. When I shook my head, indicating that I was not, he said: “You speak that Spanish shit so you may as well be.” I let 360 have the last word on the topic.
One day I dj’ed, playing a captivating mix of reggaeton, salsa and rap, trying to appease the entire gym. I dared to play this one Irish rebel song. 360 Degrees and Knowledge —two trainers who had done time in jail and joined the Five Percenters who baptized them with new names— objected and shouted out: “What the fuck is this hillbilly shit?” I smiled. I thought this was a “teachable moment,” an opportunity to build with 360 and Knowledge. I asked them if they ever heard of Bobby Sands and the Irish freedom struggle? 360 Degrees said “the what? Man turn that red neck shit off.” I gave up for the moment, shelving my multinational unity plea for another day. I put Meek Mill back on.
One night, as I shadow boxed, a debate raged between the Black Nationalist trainers and the trainers who were more moderate Obama-admirers. They were fiercely debating whether George Jackson and other Black Panthers should be read, studied and admired today. I overheard the fiery polemic and smiled under my raised, wrapped hands. They knew me for years and knew that I taught at the City University of New York. “Hey yo professor” one of the moderates, Johnson yells out, “what do you think of George Jackson? I never even heard of that motherfucker and these fools are saying he is all important.” All eyes were on me. Leaning over the ropes —from my pulpit up in the ring— I responded: “George Jackson and his younger brother Jonathan —and all the Panthers for that matter— represented a generation of Black leadership who refused to negotiate the terms of Black oppression. They represent the fiercest, most poignant sons and daughters —not just of the Black nation— but of all oppressed peoples. Jackson’s work Soledad Brother and Blood in My Eye are some of the most eloquent testimonies of those men and women who stood up to white supremacy. We should all study them.” There was silence as I returned to my routine. Knowledge broke the silence, high-fiving 360, “I told you, you uncle Tom motherfuckers! Even that white boy knows better than you.”
The Sauna Brawl
A fellow Irish man, Paddy and I finished up training. We went to a LA fitness gym where there is a sauna. It was a welcome break from the boxing dungeon. After some weights and swimming, we walked into the sauna. There was a crew of five young Black athletes spread out in the sauna. They had jeans, tank tops, timberlands and do-rags on. It was 170 degrees. As soon as we entered, one diesel (strong) individual jumped up into Paddy’s face saying “Oh you want some of this homie?” The others looked at me and said “Yo that’s the guy that Uno Stay Paid fought.” I pondered whether this was a good or bad thing because I whopped that out-of-shape dude’s ass. He was done after the second round. Paramedics stayed with him for over an hour after the fight to help him breathe again. He was a one punch wonder type fighter. All I had to do was dance and I knew he would fall on his own accord. Everything was transpiring so quickly. We were all locked up chest to chest. We were outnumbered but in better shape. Were we about to go to war in this, the most relaxing of places?
Ricochet Ray played down the situation: “Haha Fellas we recognize y’all from 149. We are just messing with you. I’m Cokeboy Miller’s cousin. What’s good brother?” They were playing a prank on us. We saluted one another and everyone took their seat around the hot rocks. They said they had mistaken my man for another fighter who had supposedly hit their man G-Rilla Thrilla with some dirty shots way back when. And here we thought that saunas eased the tensions.
A Tourist Never, an Internationalist Always
I reject the word tourism. I have been travelling the world since my mother and I first took a road trip into Nogales, Mexico when I was 15. I never identified with tourists who are looking for beaches, rum and partying. That was not what I was after. Tourism under imperialism is synonymous with exploitation and inequality. Cities like Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil and Singapore, a city-state, depend on tourism for survival. But foreign capital and the local elites own the hotels, restaurants and tourist traps. How does this benefit the locals? Everyday people only get crumbs from the tourist economy. Those in power promote tourism because they are the ones who cash in on the international division of humanity into immigrants and tourists, the “First World” and “Third World.”
We fight for a world where everyone can travel freely and passports and visas are not the exclusive domain of the rich.
In the 88 countries I have visited, I never stayed at resorts. I never did fancy things separated from the simple people of Esmeraldas, Ecuador, Guinea Bissau and Denpasar, Indonesia. I stayed with friends and their families. I ate, worked and learned from organic contacts. This is the essence of ethnography. I have formal academic training but everything I learned about building with people was organic. No Ivy League institution could ever teach class instincts. Columbia never made me an ethnographer; Colombia did. My time in Santa Marta, Cartagena and the palenques (escaped slave communities) of Barranquilla on the Colombian Caribbean coast was unforgettable.
This to me is the essence of Boxing Internationalism.
A boxer recognizes a boxer anywhere. I did not always speak the same language as boxers in Albania, Senegal or Thailand but we still worked out together and had mutual respect because of our love for the craft. There are so many memories and beautiful people who took me into their world to experience their reality and visit their families.
One January day in Dakar, Senegal, Jamil Antoine ran a marathon in between boxing. Yes, Jamil ran 13 miles with me in the morning to workout on the coast with some Senegalese olympic hopefuls. I had to travel in the afternoon to Banjul, Gambia. Jamil decided to run another 13 miles in my absence. I marvel at the athletes who I have met and who have inspired me all these decades.
Interesting writing primito mio. Cheers. Gingin.
God doesn’t give us what we can’t handle. The pain is worth it when we make it out. It must have been mind blowing to not know when u would have can back from Brazil. i never had a car but “The Death Trap” different for a truck. Sorry to hear about your friend hea sound like a cool guy. Head bossies have a thing with crazy street names, paterson is a dangerous neighborhood I have been around there cuz my daddy before immigration got him lived there. My daddy is also a cool guy that got pick up for pharmaceutical narcosis. So on October 15 is his court date hopeful he will get out. But the system love to take our love ones away. George Jackson and some other Black Panthers comment that was very impressive professor, you ever gave me a reason to enlighten my ignorance. The sauna story shows that your credibility for being a good boxer can and will aways be the told at my dining table.
It’s not really surprising from the experience you tell. That’s the real truth in the place we live, there is no real way to sugar coat that reality. Your experience really shows, the way people rely on conducting a crime because they can’t barely scrap by “doing what they have to do to” in order to pay our way of living or plain out escape this world in hopes of landing in a better place. It’s funny how your just use to this day in and day out and surprising to other like your friend pulling out his phone to record and you telling him might as well have it out all day, and it’s not you who are confirmed with this it’s everyone who’s living near or around oppressed areas it just gets treated as “just another day”. It’s not just crime and conformity which we get used to, racism is still alive and thriving. I found it funny when they were debating about black nationalist and after they said “Even that white boy knows better than you” to the person who asked you about George Jackson, it made me think the majority still work with their hands to meet ends met and don’t educate as much. I also liked your ride the death trap, I bet it made you think will today be the day will I crash into a pole or even worse. There is some truth that we are looked as a waste based on Wall Street perspective, though it’s a means of survival In this jungle for others. Some see it as out culture, those “gangsta” nicknames are funny though. You even seen those who escaped but are ashamed for what they become because everyone hates the cops, so in a sense they didn’t really escape they just entered another “hell”. Everyone has their breaking point and gets tired of the same bull crap, must have been your motivation to go to Brazil, though was a great reentry back to here picking up your ride from Gunz. You experience made me think of that movie that came out with Jake Gyllenhaal called Southpaw. The boxing world is not just entertaining the fans and making millions, there is more to it and you shed light to it. Hope to read more.
Destina McKinney
LAC 101
October 14 2015
A Dollar and a Dream in the South Bronx (Part I – V)
The meaning of the expression a dollar and a dream in itself means having the desire to become successful without having much money. In order to make money you have to have money if you want to move up in any position in life. The efforts of the minority community to prosper their boxing skills into a profession is shown in A Dollar and a Dream in the South Bronx. Unethically, the life of crime in the community that strives to make more than a dollar, puts a stop to any kind of dream. Theft, armed weapons, and heinous crimes pollute the streets, ultimately landing some of the best underground fighters in prison or worse. The reputation of the Southern Bronx criminal activity hinders the success of these fighters because the police then target these individuals even if falsely accused. The article shows the struggles of minorities to become successful through talent because due to their community circumstances.
In my opinion these neighborhoods are purposely set up this way so that their are barely any successful outcomes. I agree with the portion of the article that stated a young man has more of a chance of going to prison than graduating high school. I do not believe it is too far fetched either that this mentality is implanted in their mindsets from a younger age. Poverty strums crime. If a person is raised in a low income community without a means of income, that individual will turn to robbery or other crimes to make a living. Although some individuals explained in the article ended up on the other side of the bars, a part of them are also victims themselves of an ongoing set up.
cultural diversity very important in these gyms, when you get in that ring all that doesn’t matter great sportsmanship maintain these men to achieve championship status. Building the Nation of Gods and Earth mustn’t been interesting, able to come in that forum of boxing and make everything powerful and build in a proper respectful matter….
First of all am proud of you, coming from such a background to become who you are now, that is a great accomplishment. The is a saying that ” life is how you make it”.Therefore, if society throws anything at a us, we have the choice to allow their assisted self fulfilling prophecy to come and pass or choose our own way.
First of all am proud of you, considering your family history and who you are now.It is two different realities. The is a saying that ” Life is how you make it”. You did not allow the challenges of your family or society to stop you from becoming a better person. Therefore, everybody has a responsibility to stand up and not give up to the perception of our modern society.
These realities hit me like a truck, honestly because I was totally oblivious and knowing that all these happens so close to where I live leaves me even more shocked. in my family most of the time is the tendency that every one that commits robbery, murder, or do any type of crime is a bad person and did have another choice to do things differently, even thought it is a reality in that belief it doesn’t mean that is a complete truth because for many people committing crimes like those are the only ways they have to sustain themselves and their families, probably many of them have tried to do things right and couldn’t do it because the system in a way or another just closed its doors to help. with this I want to say that everyone lives a different reality and lives and we aren’t supposed to turn our backs at them and just judge them instead we need to realize that they are also being victims of the system and themselves.
Diversity is important in the community and most important thing is to give respect to every one. I’m really proud to be reading all this article and really get to know the real deal about the South Bronx which is not a bad place to be. we just make it harder to understand and to respect every one as individuals.
This is a problem that the South Bronx had been dealing with for decades. The South Bronx is considered to be one of the poorest district in the U.S. Muggaboy is the sad reality that many young people deal with while growing up in the South Bronx. Young people in the Bronx are fueled by what they see from their families and within their communities.
The cultural diversity in this portion was quite impressive to read about. It is great that these people of different backgrounds all share a common ground and can get along. The section on the Black Nationalist was refreshing because I had never heard of George Jackson. The sauna story just shows how far respect can get you because had those young men not recognized you, the entire situation could have gone a different way.
I liked very much the quote “Boxing was my pain pill.” I think that there are so many ways we can get rid of our emotional pains, rather than choosing something that will make things worse in the long run. On the other hand, there are so many people whose “assumptions” may upset us. Many people assume that I am from many different countries (except the one I am from) just because my physical features speak more of another countries.
I feel like it is very important to diversify and show your friends a little about your world. I feel that what ever happened to muggaboy was crazy but I respect the fact you was able to get your keys back. I feel like that is real freedom to be able to take a flight to some random country undecided as to when to come back.
It sad the fact that your friend Muggaboy had to struggle, his mother was not able to support him. At the end he had an accident with the card the death trap. I guess you give that name because can kill some one. It is a sad story.
I like the fact that when you came back from Brazil to reality, all you felt was the feeling of going back, away from the problems. Meanwhile your friend was locked up. Its a shame that such a good friend had to result in that situation.
I’m proud of you hard work!. when every time I read your article,I learn something new: about the policing, racism, sexism, politics, about the past and the present time,especially in the United states. In this article I learned that even though there is a cultural diversity, there is something bring you to share the same common ground in your life. In this case which is boxing.
I have to say I think it is awesome that you share so much of yourself with the world. One would never imagine the experiences that you have had. It’s inspiring to read how you have used he pain and struggle in your life to achieve more, do more, live more. I would be terrified to jet off to another country with no real gameplan. I admire your spirit. Not everyone can take control of their lives and make it what they want. As you have pointed out in part I-V, many individuals were not able to. They ended up being sucked into the unforgiving system of oppression, drugs and incarceration. Keep on doing what you do. You never know who your knowledge and insight might be inspiring to overcome the pain in their own lives.
A skilled boxer and an intellectual. The article presents ideals of resistance from two fronts. It is admirable to grow in such an oppressive environment, but i suppose that the only way to survive is to grow in this instance
Professor shaw is a very inspirational professor. He went through a lot and still manage to be a successful role models to the young people.
I like the begin of this article the quote ” boxing was my pain pill”. This quote helps many youngs people’s mind to be busy doing something healthy for their mind and their body. Nowday, a lot of young people are addict using drugs. They expense their time doing bad things in the street instead of doing things that will help them succeed in life like going to school, going sport team.
I like the begin of this article the quote ” boxing was my pain pill”. This quote helps many youngs people’s mind to be busy doing something healthy for their mind and their body. Nowday, a lot of young people are addict using drugs. They expend their time doing stupid things in the street instead of doing things that will help them succeed in life like going to school, going sport team. When you keep your mind busy you won’t think to do stupid things that distroy your entire life.
Sometimes in life people, don`t wanna here the truth, Professor Shaw was trying to teach 360 Degrees and Knowledge some Knowledge, but they didn`t want to expand their minds, has far has music is concerned, and later down the line he ended up dropping some juelz on them about George Jackson and The Black Panthers.
I always say that life can be a rollercoaster full of many different adversities. We all go through hardship, however I’ve came across people that have been through things that are very heartbreaking. Broken homes, abusive parents, no food, alcohol and drug addiction etc. It’s very encouraging to know how the professor Shaw kept his mind and life busy and focused in boxing. Although he experienced a difficult upbringing throughout his life, he didn’t allow his circumstances to shut him down. Boxing allowed a lot of these different fighters to escape for a moment from this dark and cruel bubble that we call life.
Self motivating can be hard to achieve. But, it’s always good to stay in shape. Boxing can be painful, and tough. The coolest thing is that you are very lucky Prof. Shaw. As you said you come from drugs, sexual violence, trauma and prison. You were able to change, and you did not face consequences. Your friend mugger boy is good guy, mugger by are different. He taught you good stuff. I am glad that you came from different background professor Shaw. You have made lots of mistake, and you learned from your mistake to become better person. Lots of us don’t realize the consequence that we face in our life, and we can overcome the consequence that we face in real life.
Many underprivileged individuals tend to self-medicate one way or another. Every person has that one thing that can make all their problems disappear until it doesnt work anymore OR it becomes work. An addiction can become more of a burden then the actual problem once you realize that it just becomes a necessity. Hustling although not a job can give a person the same adrenaline rush as a big fight when he pulls of a big score or managed to out smart the police. The end justifies the means in any kind of addiction even if dreams are the collateral damage. The fact that Shaw was able to rise above the most obvious crutches, and educate himself can inspire others to do the same although many would rather choose the bliss of ignorance.
” Another young man abducted from a society that never believed in him to begin with. Part of me wanted to go right back to Guyana and escape the ghetto trap.” This caught me right away its speaks truth, it speaks today’s toxic world. Its actually amazing to see from what you’ve come from and have endured in your life to being a professor speaking truth and wisdom a lot of people in this generation today are so blinded by the fake news and what they think it is, instead of opening their eyes and really see what is being done to us and how it is affecting us an our society, how it is affecting our future children and their growth. From what I’ve read so far you have definitely kept it together while being in the middle of much chaos
First of all this article here had me dying of laughter. 1 because of the guys names, and 2 the part where you said the guy was like a “one punch wonder type of fighter” that was hilarious! It’s a shame that you guys almost had to fight in the sauna, in my opinion I think they chickened out because even though you guys were out numbered, as you stated, you guys were bigger, plus you had already beat up one of their peoples. HA! I really hate it that in the black community there is always someone ready to fight or start trouble, I know people have their issues and are just mad at life and what not, but we should not be fighting each other we need to fight this system that is designing us to be this way.
A lot of what you are saying at the beginning of the blog is really relatable. Both of my parents had a rough childhood but they each had different ways of handling it. My dad resents his parents for his upbringing but then reciprocated what his parents did. My mother resents her parents for her upbringing but did what she could to steer away from their parenting styles. I think that the way people react or handle their upbringing is not wrong nor right. It takes a lot to surmount pass your disadvantages and it takes a strong mindset to do so. Also in your other blogs, you refer to the gym as a home away from home or a break or ease from your troubles. But in this blog, the gym seems like nothing near perfection. It’s funny because many other people would think of their break from reality as a vacation or a quick get away. But your get away wasn’t the cleanest, most perfect or ideal place to be, but it was still your home away from home. The value of a place depends on how you view it.
I agree that trying to keep self motivated while having so many other life issues is very hard. it is always great to have at least one person that helps you be able to manage yourself. I agree that everyone deals with their struggles differently and some do better than others. running away from a loss is not a solution. you should always face your troubles with your head held high and in your case, at least you made it that far in the fight, always be proud of your accomplishments. I feel that Mugga boy was making wrong decisions for survival that landed him in his unfortunate position. the lack of knowledge is the reason why so many people sound so ignorant when talking about history and politics. how can you argue about something you know nothing about and didn’t take the time out to learn.
Self-motivating yourself is hard especially when there is no one around to guide you in the right way. It’s easy to say to someone to get over something when in reality it’s a lot harder than it sounds. Everyone has experiences so they will process things differently than others. I thought it was interesting that many people though you were Latino just because you spoke fluent Spanish. It’s one thing if you learn it but it’s another thing if its part of your culture. Also, Latino doesn’t just mean speaking spanish. it’s more than that because there are many different Latino cultures that have their own customs and beliefs. For instance, Dia de los muertos (Day of the Dead) is a Mexican holiday that is celebrated throughout Mexico and also in the Central and South regions along with people who have Mexican ancestry.
Embracing what you have been through and what could have been, but appreciating what has come about, is the most mature thing anyone can do. Motivation is something often lacked and not acknowledged when present. You are what you put yourself out to be, no matter where you are from or where you have been, you are what you learn and where you place yourself in the long run.
I can relate to the part when you tried switching up the music for a little; I too have tried showing people a different perspective when it comes to music and have been turned away.
I have to say this, you really did a good job from growing up in a family like yours and becoming a CUNY professor. Most people would have not make it, they would have grow up and take the footsteps of their family, since that is what they’ve been exposed to. Bravos to you. I also like how culture diversity was shown in this part of the article. It is quite impressive to see people from different backgrounds coming together or have a common interest in something and also getting along.